


Artificial (Real?) Love

by grossnoona



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Delusions, Established Relationship, M/M, Murder, Oh they fuck yes, Sex, Spies & Secret Agents, They fuck but god they don't know what this r/s is you feel?, kind of???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:46:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26285158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona
Summary: Why does July do this to August? Neither of them know.All they know is that they waltz through the weight of their responsibilities and pain carefully, pretending like none of that matters.After all, the only thing that matters the most iseach other.Right?
Relationships: August/July (A3!)
Kudos: 6





	Artificial (Real?) Love

**Author's Note:**

> HELLOOO grossnoona here  
> so uh I have been going through a couple life turmoils but I've come back w a fic that I've stuffed under my drafts for a long bit and only finished it recently!!  
> I found out that _a lot like a lot_ of ppl have read [my July mourning fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683197) (honestly this fic has so many variant titles so idk what you call it, tell me what you call it bc i thought the name was super easy to remember kjsdnkjds) and um this,,, this is like the origin?? i guess??  
> well you find out why july is the way he is  
> anyway, i hope you enjoy!!

August whistles blissfully as he threads through piles of dead bodies. What a mess. August usually doesn’t like making big messes but it can’t be helped. Sometimes, it’s necessary. How shameful, if August had to be honest. August likes to think he’s a saint. He rather things get solved through diplomatic ways where no one could get hurt. He really does prefer to work things out that way, it’s less troublesome for both parties after all.

A body moves in a rather sluggish motion, August spots at the corner of his eye. 

Though, there are times where August truly believes that diplomatic ways are merely impossible to do. Such as this one. August hates using the hard way, he thought as he pointed the gun towards the man attempting to crawl his way to freedom. It can’t be helped. Some people are just impossible to talk things out with. They refuse to compromise, making August’s job far more difficult than it already is. Really, why can’t we all just get along? Wouldn’t that be easier?

“Thought I wouldn’t catch you, huh?  _ How sneaky of you. _ ”

_ Bang! _

August has to admit that killing isn’t exactly his forte. He can be rather messy. He can go too far. Leave the body mangled up and unrecognisable, having their comrades perplexed over their identity. August enjoys killing in that fashion but he has been told that it takes too much time  _ and _ it is just far too gruesome to continuously commit. Though, August doesn’t see the problem in it. After all, if he kills everyone―there’s nothing to worry about, right?

It’d be a win-win situation, August believed.

“You went too far again,” July scolded as he boarded the helicopter. How lovely, July came to pick him up! Now, that’s a rare treat. Could he have a mission nearby? Maybe. Judging by his fashionable suit, it seems like he was asked to assassin another culprit, huh? August wished he could do that but it seems his methods are unfavorable.

August smiles warmly as July complains about how the pendrive they needed is covered in blood. August is covered in blood. _ It’s unsightly. _ Wash up when we get back, will you? July scolds lightly as August hums happily.

Don’t worry, he isn’t  _ that _ gross. Unless, July is?

July huffs and puffs his cheeks whenever August makes jokes about how July is a coward for not being interested in making out with August covered in blood. July will always retort with how August stinks when he comes back from those kinds of missions. Not only is he covered in sweat and blood, he smells like a dead animal. Have some courtesy, will you?

August laughs loudly as July dries his hair with a blow-dryer. Courtesy? Isn’t that already out of the window when it comes to the two of them? One minute, they’re the most lovey-dovey couple in the world. Next minute, they’re the most vile couple that can barely stand each other. That cycle repeats, endlessly. Leaving everyone around them wondering to themselves; just why are you two always like this?

August doesn’t know, to be honest. He wants to know why their relationship is unable to stabilize the way he wants to.

It’s tiring, to be honest.

_ Kiss. _

Though August says that, there are moments where he wishes that could last forever. Like this. July holding his face warmly as they exchange kisses in bed. August holding July with so much care, thinking that he could break July if he wasn’t careful. Whatever argument and mess that they have made could easily be forgotten when all they’re doing is touching each other. It’s easy to ignore whatever danger that they have waltzed themselves into when all they should focus on is the warmth of each other when they shed off their bathrobes.

It’s soft and reassuring but it’s strange and funny too.

July’s voice is all August ever wants to focus on. He likes July best when he’s like this―Dazed and loss of words. Nothing but sweet noises come out of that pretty mouth of his. August likes July’s voice best when it makes messy moans as August leaves kisses on his neck. So cute. July shouldn’t have left his neck bare like that for August, he really was just asking for it.

Surely, July will deny wanting such a thing from August. 

July digs his head deeper into the pillow as August thrusts into him. Probably not wanting to make too much noise. As gross August may be, he  _ genuinely _ doesn’t want any of their peers finding them like this. It’d be nothing but pure embarrassment for both of them. Not to mention, a complete turn off.

Even then, August wants to hear July moan as loudly as he can.

August wants July to moan out his name like that’s the only thing he knows. All that messy head of his should be thinking about is the feeling of August’s hands and lips against July’s skin. There’s no need to think about work or what their peers think, just think about August only. After all, July only acts like himself in front of August, right? No one else gets to see this July  _ but _ August, right?

_ So broken in _ ―His hair spread out on the pillow as he bites his arm to hold back more moans. Even when August tries not to give him a place to hide, July always finds a way. Even when August turns him over to face him properly, July still manages to avert his gaze away from August. As expected, the  _ perfect human being _ he is. There’s always something July can do that August can’t do.

Though, maybe that part of him isn’t him being a  _ perfect human being _ but a  _ normal human being _ . August doesn’t know really.

All August knows is; if he ever finds out that July shows this side of him to someone else other than August, that’d be  _ really _ unfair for August.

“ _ I’m selfish, after all. _ ”

Such warmth―August wants to keep it forever in his hands. Let it warm up to an alarming degree and scold his body as he hugs it tightly, like a foolish child with his worn-out stuffed animal. Let July’s fluctuating love freeze him to death and burn him whole. August wants July to kill him, as morbid as it seems.

That’s expected, right?

July murdering August with his love? It seems hilariously possible. No doubt. August doesn’t need to be told that July could kill him with no remorse. That scolding love burns out as soon as they are clothed and in front of their peers. It turns cold. So cold, August can get a freeze burn if he isn’t careful.

Even then, their love isn’t that straightforward. Had it been simply August and July getting frisky and lovey-dovey in their bedroom then turning into  _ almost _ complete strangers anywhere else, August would be able to have some sense of self control  _ but _ it isn’t. Their love isn’t easy like that at all.  _ God _ , how August would kill for such a straightforward relationship like that.

July is confusing. In an exhilarating and good way.

July loves tipping August over with his hands lightly guiding August’s hands and eyes to August’s favourite parts. July’s playful smile when they touch each other in between dark hallways during missions, there’s a sense of excitement August gets when it happens. The immediate cold shoulder afterwards is a weird turn-on but August can’t help it. The human body is impulsive. July knows that. August knows that. Why else is July touching August in such a cruel way?

July is confusing. In a draining and terrifying way.

On top of all of that touching and sweet pockets of love he sure loves giving August, July knows how to get August to follow the Organization’s orders with ease. How cruel. The Organization really did make  _ the perfect human being _ . One who can reciprocate when necessary. Give the affection August yearns and set him straight. One that fulfills all of August’s needs. Really, is this a gift or a curse? August will never know.

_ It’s dangerous _ .  _ It’s so dangerous _ .

August is playing a game where the chances of winning are so muddled, August doesn’t even know what to do to increase the chances of winning. Trapped. August is trapped in this game with July.

The feeling of July’s head resting comfortably on August’s shoulder as he readjusts himself on August’s lap, it’s driving him nuts. August can barely focus on the words uttered by the others, only July’s lips grazing lightly against August’s neck is all he can feel and hear. Nothing is whispered but  _ it feels like something was _ . What was it? What was your personal request, July?

August tightens his grip around July’s waist―

“ _ Play with me after this. _ ”

July sure likes playing mean.

Clothes strewn across the hotel room. Warm air that smells heavily of sweat and sex. The warmth of their bodies clinging to one another underneath the heavy sheets. The feeling of July’s skin against his, it’s sickeningly sticky. This kind of scene is something August should be used to by now,  _ yet he isn’t _ . Why is that?

August likes the sight of July sleeping calmly next to him. No longer scowling or rudely scoffing at August, just July curling into him as he sleeps peacefully. Nothing but sweet, soft murmuring escapes from his lips. Nothing vile. Nothing that might take a hit at August’s self esteem. Just sweet, comforting sounds that August finds himself falling asleep to.

Is this side of July real too? August wonders.

Scary. Everything about July is a mystery. It scares August a little. Things change. People grow. August should know that but is that what’s happening between July and him? Are they really suffering through the turmoils of time and age? August wonders about that. Somehow he doubts that’s the cause of this messy relationship they have.

August feels like it’s more than that.

Their relationship wasn’t always like this, both of them know that. It was a lot  _ easier _ when they were younger. It was a lot  _ easier _ to get naked and be bare with each other but as their value to The Organization grew, so did their unfortunate relationship. Obviously, not in a good way. Definitely not in a way that August liked.

_ Though _ , July may have found it good.

God knows. At this point, it seems too much for August to ask God for help with a man-made human being.  _ He _ didn’t create July, someone else did so it isn’t really  _ His _ problem. As much as August would like to complain.

“Say, what are we?”

August watches July throw their dirty clothes in a laundry bag. They have to leave in a couple of hours. They better leave soon.  _ Somehow _ , August doesn’t want to. Maybe it’s because after this mission, they’re off to their own separate missions. Leaving this mess of a relationship known as theirs in this messy hotel room.

“ _ Partners _ ―Why do you ask?”

August hums as he listens to the sound of July carefully opening his luggage. Showering so soon? July’s flight is only 5 hours. There’s no need to get ready so quickly? Unless, July wants to do something else before leaving? Though, August doesn’t recall any extra tasks for July. Did he really zone out during that meeting or what?

“Nah, I’m just wondering if you forgot about  _ us. _ ”

August shrugs as he gets up, he doesn’t like carrying all of those cosmetic junk. It adds weight to his already heavy luggage bag. His facial appearance doesn’t particularly matter for his next mission so it’s not like he has to fret so much, anyway. The dead don’t discriminate against one's looks.  _ They’re dead. _ Well, if by any chance, August  _ does _ receive some slack for his appearance, it’s not like it’ll last. They’ll be dead by the minute they finish. No big deal.

Though he says that, then why is it his actions say the opposite?

August finds himself slipping into a different universe. One that he barely recognises. Clearly, he isn’t facing the cold-hearted July that would dig a knife deep into his chest and leave his bleeding body in a bathtub filled with its own blood. Instead, he’s faced with a  _ different _ kind of July. This July wraps his arms around August and slips into the bathtub with him. Skin barely peeking underneath the milky water. He releases spurts of giggles into the air as the two of them exchange soft kisses.

“Does it hurt?” July asks as he lightly touches the scratches on August’s back. They’re not battle scars, they’re simply July’s love marks. They can heal for new ones to be made, July. Nothing to worry about at all.

July tilts his head slightly― _ Oh. This is getting dangerous _ .

August can’t panic, though. The minute July is aware that August knows what’s going on, this perfectly fabricated world known as their relationship will disappear. August doesn’t want to face reality.  _ Not yet _ . Let him sink into this world. Just for a minute.

_ Will you, July? _

July’s voice is best when he doesn’t have to hold back anymore. There’s no peers for July and August to hide from. Scream and moan as loud as you want, July. Let’s pretend that time has stopped moving for the two of them. Why don’t you utter August’s name like a prayer? Let the world know who has been leaving July a babbling mess. Surely, July will have to do his mission with a limp.

What a disadvantage, August wanted to say but he’s met with a rather tough scratch.

_ Right.  _

_ They’re not spies anymore. _

_ Right. _

They’re simply two messy human beings in love. That’s all they are. Not wanting to let go off each other as soon as they’re out of the shower, go straight into bed so they can continue this with ease. Shall August leave love marks for July to remember what he needs to return to? After all, July is always  _ so busy _ . It’s only fair that August gets impatient and jealous over this lack of attention.

“Not my fault, you can take your work wherever you go― _ Ah! _ ”

Hm? August can take his work wherever he goes? Is that August’s role in this world? July’s ever-so-busy husband that has his work always in his bag? That isn’t so different from the one in real life, though. Come on, can’t think of a better role? Well, it can’t be helped. It’s not like August gave a better role, either.

A distant partner that is always away from his husband.

August laughs when July tries to huff and puff in annoyance. Oh, don’t give that look. Even with their limited time together, they’re still happily together. In fact, so much so, they have sex  _ almost _ every time they meet! Is July sure they got together out of love, not  _ lust? _

“ _ Less talking, more kissing _ .”

August isn’t given a chance to talk, July has caught his lips already. Angrily murmuring how talkative August is, regardless of what the situation is. Read the room, will you? July scolds August as he rides him. It’s amazing by how much resistance July has when he’s angry like this. Really, is this a punishment for August  _ or _ July? August can’t tell as he tightens the grip on July’s waist.

_ They’re going to have another bath. _

August laughs his entire heart as July turns red. Really, this has got to be the funniest accident to ever happen to them. Way better than their honeymoon!

_ Who would have thought that July would get the timing wrong! _

“I didn’t think our flights were at night―Had it been that way, I would have spent more time letting you ride― _ Ow! _ ”

August is met with an embarrassed glare.  _ Cute. _

“Can you stop being so disgusting for five minutes?”

A simple mix-up. To be honest, neither didn’t expect it. August is at fault too. In this world, they’re not from the same company. In this world, August has to look after his own schedule and can’t rely on July. They’re not co-workers.  _ At least _ , not anymore.

That’s what August believes as he watches July talk to someone on the phone. Pacing back and forth, obviously disgruntled by the fact that it is a company mix-up. Not July. For August, he just simply misread his plane ticket. A complete fool. Just like what August is to July.

“No one is going to get fired because of this, right?” August asks as soon as July is done with his call. Hopefully, not.

July sighs.  _ Well _ , they have 5 hours to spare. What should they do now? They can’t stand around the airport and watch time pass achingly slow. They should at least do something before they go. Not like they actually had the time to explore this place, right?

Is July proposing an idea that August will enjoy?

“Was  _ that good _ in bed this time?” August asks insensitively, leaving July rubbing his temple. Don’t ever ask that kind of question again. As the years go by, July is starting to lose track  _ why _ he married August. It leaves August laughing.

It’s because July loves August, regardless how stupid and gross he is.

5 hours is enough. August can make up enough time. Just leave it to August.  _ Everything _ . All July has to do is relax and enjoy the trip, August tries to reassure him. Something that is  _ very _ hard for July to do. August knows that but try, will you? August wants July to leave this place with memories of them spending their last moments together before the working world eats them up again.

Let’s go back to their honeymoon days.

When all they cared about was each other, not the aching bills and work that await them at home. Not the heart-wrenching flights that’ll separate them for each other for a month or two where only phone calls will comfort them through their loneliness. Just August hearing July’s laughter as they walk down the city streets with their heavy bags in tow. Just the feeling of July’s head resting comfortably on August’s shoulder as they take in the view that passes by them in the taxi. Just the warm feeling of being together again that August knows July will cry about over the phone for the next week.

“Do you ever want children, July?” August asks over dinner.

Today’s dinner is fancy French food.  _ Very high class _ . August has to get used to this, that’s where he’s going next. Where will he be going next after that? August can’t remember. Greece, maybe? Somewhere around there. That’s in a couple of months time, though. Nothing to worry about.

July gives him a funny look― _ Children? _

_ Oh _ , don’t give that look. August is just asking. He’s curious that’s all. Neither of them can conceive so it’s not like either of them can get pregnant. Nothing to worry about. Though August says that in a comical fashion, he meant the question rather seriously. What does July think about children?

“I don’t see anything against the idea but I’m just afraid that we can’t raise them, that’s all.” July sadly admits such a worry into this world. This  _ real world _ . Not their play-pretend world. A real concern. One didn’t expect July to do.

Typically, August is the one to crack first. For the first time, it’s July who cracks.

With just that sad look and tone, their perfect world  _ cracks _ beneath that sudden pressure. Children. Of their own. It’s tempting.  _ Very tempting. _ August now knows July wants children too but  _ they can’t _ . It’s dangerous. Children die in their world.  _ Their real world _ . Not this play-pretend that August and July can happily escape together.

If only August could hide their kids in that kind of world.

“ _ August...? _ ”

July makes a note how August’s grip around his hand is tight. Tighter than usual. It’s clear, isn’t it? August has slipped out of the comforts of that world. Sorry, July. It’s just―That answer was a lot harder to take in than August thought. He shouldn’t have asked that question. Forget about it.

Let’s just finish dinner and go back to work.

_ There’s no point in fooling around anymore. _

There’s only 30 minutes before their departure gates open and they leave this memory at the gate, August feels bad. He ruined it, didn’t he? He shouldn’t have asked that stupid question. If he hadn’t, then maybe they could depart with ease but now, it’s obvious that July is hurt by August. The sudden back away from the thought of children, it’s obvious that August is still a coward like usual.

“ _ If we had children, what would you name them? _ ”

July asks all of a sudden.  _ What…? _

July gives August a strange look. It’s hard to discern some of July’s emotions sometimes. Especially, times like these. When they’ve narrowly escaped the anger and sadness they feel when they leave that fantasy world of theirs.  _ Answer the question _ , July’s face says but his mouth isn’t moving one inch.

Names? Wouldn’t they be named by the Organization― _ Oh. _

August stares at his watch, there’s only 15 minutes left before they have to depart. July is only giving him  _ that much time? _ Is this some sort of punishment? Judging by July’s face, it isn’t. He seems  _ obviously _ serious. What would August name his children, if he had the chance?

“ _ Mika? _ ”

There’s uncertainty in August’s tone as he answers. When did he get so nervous? August doesn’t know but the understanding nod August receives from July isn’t as reassuring as August hoped. If anything, it leaves a weird feeling in August’s chest. Something August doesn’t really know the name of.

“Misha and Mika are pretty much the same names, though―Are you sure you just want to name your child that?” July argues. August shrugs as he weakly explains that July didn’t give him enough time to think of an answer. He points at his watch, indicating that he has 10 minutes left before the departure gates open. Can’t you be a little easier on your husband?

July laughs lightly. Sorry, he was just curious.

“Well then, what about next month?”

August quirks an eyebrow.

“Next month?”

July nods. July is giving August next month to think of names. How many of the names? July doesn’t really care much about the amount of children August wants. That’s for August to decide. All July is doing is enabling him to go ahead and do whatever he wants. Nothing more. Nothing less.

_ Typical July. _

“Just don’t go cheating on me when you’re in France―I heard the women there are attractive,” July jokes as he plants a kiss on August’s lips.

It leaves August laughing endlessly. Cheating? What does July think August will do? Knock up a woman because he’s too busy thinking about children? Don’t be so ridiculous. August is  _ only loyal to  _ July. Who else is there for him to choose?

No one can quite beat at the game July plays with August.

It’s only fair that July remains in August’s heart, no matter the distance and state of their messy relationship.

“I’ll see you at  _ home _ .”

_ Home _ ―August would love to see July at  _ home _ . 

Wherever that may be from them; a messy hotel room, that secret hideout that only they know, the pristine bedroom they share in the Organization headquarters to many more other scattered memories that they have simply left at the departure gate of an airport. What a comforting thought, August labelled this memory as. This is one of the few times they managed to peacefully leave this world at the door before handing back to work.

“ _ Take care. _ ”

As real as it may be, August is aware that this is  _ 100% artificial _ .

Though that children thing, why next month? August couldn’t help but wonder why as he boarded the plane. Does he know a thing or two about August’s missions? It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. Their meetings are back to back, it’s only natural July would keep track of August’s. Out of pure habit, they both know it.

August scoffs―So that’s why he kept playing along, huh?

  
“ _ You want me to kidnap an heir? You’re too cruel, July…” _

**Author's Note:**

>  _y e a h_  
>  everything abt this fic is filled with a lot of terrible things (sex being its least terrible) but I personally like playing w augju this way!! so yea!!  
> it's a def step up from my prev augju fic which was already v ???????????  
> also hm i left the ending up for you to decide what is going on there ~~(it's april)~~  
>  anyway i hope you had fun!!  
> as always, thank you for reading!!  
> (if you want, you can follow me on twt [@drunkossan](https://twitter.com/drunkossan))


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